my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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