You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
