Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
