I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
