it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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