I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
