margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
