I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
