So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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