Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
