I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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