I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Randomize
