I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
