can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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