Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
