I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
