I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
