Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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