Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
