I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
