we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
