u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How naked do you want me to be?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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