What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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