just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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