Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
