He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
