and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
