eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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