Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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