The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
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The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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