i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
