I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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