Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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