dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think people are normalizing furries
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
