I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
