I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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