Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize