OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
