Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize