what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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