Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
