Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
