think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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