he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
