Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
