We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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