When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
