Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize