are you so shy because you have an std?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
