thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize