I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize