remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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