oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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