I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Apparently you make a good broom.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize