Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
