I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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