I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
