So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
