Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
