So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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