I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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