He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
