I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
