it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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