you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
