idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
